a healthy start

Today was the first day of classes. Well actuallt just one class really because I am takin ESCI online and that just doesn't really count to me. I'm gonna try to get it over with sometime next week or at least as much as he has posted. Anyways... i learned some pretty interesting things in Health today that I could directly apply to my life and I think ya'll could too...

First of all I learned that there are 6 Dimensions of Wellness
1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Intellectual
4. Spiritual
5. Interpersonal/Social
6. Environmental

A question that came up when talking about these dimensions was "What does it mean to be Spiritually healthy?"...Of course this should be totally differnt for everyone. Especially me, not being the type to go to church, like a lot of people. But honestly I was really confused by this one. Until my professor told us about something that she had read sometime last week that talked about this... it had said that to be spiritually healthy "One must strive to be the person you were meant to be"...This means we shouldn't go about our days constantly thinking about our actions and how they are going to please other people. So many people worry, constantly, about always pleasing others before themselves. I think that this is me in a nutshell. I always want to make sure that others are happy before I am and after hearing this statement I think that I am going to change this about me. Don't get me wrong, I will still take into consideration others feelings and how what I do will impact them, but I am not going to worry about everyone else before I worry about me and my happiness and my well-being. Phew! I could probably elaborate for days on this but I would like to move on.

I also had to go to an info session about my ESCI 101 class that is going to be an online course. The professor was just going over the syllabus and made a comment that I found to be particularly interesting... he made a comment about how we should be used to blackboard like we are any other blogging or website where you use chat rooms, etc. And how Craigslist has this new fad that is "the lowest common denominator of society"... I was really taken aback by this comment.

Man, something I just had to talk about a bit is my horoscope for the day. It couldn't be more perfect for what i am going through..here it is

---You really don't want to be bothered by the complexity of relationships now, but neither do you want to be alone. Ultimately, you are willing to have a necessary discussion with a close friend or loved one, but you still might do your best to keep the conversation on the lighter side of life. Although plunging into the unknown and being emotionally vulnerable may not be your preference, it could bring wisdom, along with a deeper sense of intimacy.

After I read this earlier I really got to thinking about everything. Like why I am so afraid to let go of something that has been on edge for so long. I feel like I am holding on so I am not lonely like I was for 18 years of my life and that emtional connection just seems to feel so right but at the same time so wrong. What should I do!? I wish there was some relationship goddess that could just fix everything that is wrong. The ultimate question that I have is:

How is it possible to be so in love with someone, never fight and to be so happy when you are with that person BUT at the same time things just don't feel right when you are apart and you know that there is something that is going unsaid!?

well... i thought i should blog my day before i went to transformers at midnight. bleh! hopefully things are on the road to getting better. g'night all.