Venting.

My current state of mind: Optimism--"an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome". It is the philosophical opposite of pessimism.

It is quite difficult to admit the mistakes that I have most recently made because I knew what was going to happen before it even happened. Sometimes I give people the benefit of the doubt becaue I always see the best in people, one of the main reasons I always end up hurt at the end of a relationship. After putting myself through a year and a half of a complete lie, I somehow continue to find myself gravitating towards the same scenario: a male who has a mouthpiece but no actions to back it up. I honestly shouldn't be as upset as I am right now but I can't help but be frustrated with the fact that I let myself do this over and over again.

I try to see everything as a lesson in life, something that God has planned for us in order to learn and better ourselves or the next chapters of our life...but I seem to repeat some situations more than once...even though I have already learned the lesson before. I guess after all of this it is safe to say that you can't give someone an ounce of trust until they earn it.

But I am optimistic. And I can't let everything get the best of me. I just can't wait for it to be over and done with. Whatever God continues to bring these situations in my life for, I can't wait until they are over. It's almost as if they are tests and I keep falling for them.

2011 is a new me. Time to brush off the old and ring in the new...bigger & better.

<3 t


**photo is just something to add a little spunk--a new attitude